I have something to say before I become a yoga teacher…

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I rarely have anything bad to say about anything anymore. I know that allowing negativity into your life only attracts more negativity. This time, however, I just need to vent. First, some background to the story.

I decided close to a year ago that I was no longer happy with what I did for a living. I spent a lot of time in meditation, and praying for guidance because I knew I couldn’t carry on much longer with the status quo that had become my life. I decided to try to find something that I enjoyed to do with the rest my life. I began creating, and woodworking, and writing. I started to notice that things around me were becoming more clear. I began to have faith that I was not put here to work for big pharma, doing a job that I knew was wrong. I began to ask for signs in my meditations that would direct me, and to keep me on this path that I was giving more faith to everyday. Well, they came, they came in droves. It is true that the more you look, the more you find. As 2015 wore on I decided that if I really wanted things to change that I would have to leave my comfort zone and go see the world. How I was going to do this, I had no idea.

I had just gotten done reading “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne and over and over in the book the author kept saying to create what you want that you should act like you already had it, and to be thankful for it ahead of time. I wanted more than anything to travel. The first thing I did was change my last name on Facebook to Kerouac after one of my favorite authors and world travellers. I decided that everytime I logged in and saw that, that it would remind me of that goal. Next I decided that I wanted to strengthen my yoga practice because yoga and meditation, I believe, unequivocally, were the reasons I was able to heal and overcome addiction and depression, and also grow my awareness allowing all the signs I kept receiving, and why I felt so much more faith in things. I began looking for places that offered yoga teacher training. There were tons of places around my hometown that offered it, and I reached out to many of them for information.

By now 2015 was winding down. I was as unhappy as ever in my job, and knew it was almost time to move on. I took vacation from work, and travelled to North Carolina to visit my cousin. While I was there I took some time to familiarize myself with the area because I felt like this may be a good place to start the rest of my life. I visited some yoga studios and looked at classifieds. I even dropped off a few resumes. When I returned home I decided that by the following winter I was moving to North Carolina hell or high water. Within the next couple of days I had decided that I was going to sign up for yoga teacher training at a school in my hometown. On the day that I finally decided to sign up at a school close to home, (I had the website open ready to make my payment) I saw an ad on Facebook for a place called Vinyasa Arts LKN. LKN, LKN, I thought, received_10210128786245530where have I heard of that before? I looked it up and realized it stood for Lake Norman which is the lake that is a few minutes drive from my cousins house in North Carolina. I began researching Vinyasa Arts. I was impressed to say the least. They were a married couple, Andy and Tamara, with 25 years of combined experience. They had a studio in San Diego, and were relocating to North Carolina to open a studio there. I watched a couple of videos that they had made, and I was sold. Not only did they have the experience I wanted in teachers, but they seemed like genuinely good people. Their classes began in July which gave me some time to situate my life and quit my job. Best of all it came out of nowhere, my favorite place. A sign if you will.

It has been a whirlwind adventure since then to say the least. I really didn’t know what to expect. I am not the most stretchy guy, and my poses all need a ton of work. I spent the few days prior to my first class worrying over things like; would I be the only guy, would I be too old, or not in shape enough. Well the first class came. I realized at that moment how tough these next three months would be. This was real yoga, hardly any resemblance of the yoga I had taken for the three years prior. I sweated more in that first 75 minute class than I did running cross country all through high school. I did however realize that this was exactly what I needed to strengthen my practice. My classmates were all amazing people of all different ages and backgrounds, and we all came together like family almost immediately. We pushed each other to work hard, and be better in our practice. When one of us struggled with something there was no laughing, we simply helped each other through. In times of real life pain we all came together to try and make each other feel better. It was truly a family, or a tribe maybe. Everyone working toward a common goal, and helping each other over the hurdles it took to get there. I was amazed at the abilities and wisdom of our teachers, yet equally amazed at the comradary of my classmates. I know I could never have gotten this far without them. I am blessed that they were all thrown into my life.img_20160924_172439973_hdr

Ok now back to the rant… In one of our first class lectures we were talking about healing and yoga. During this talk our teachers told us that the yoga alliance has said that we cannot equate our yoga practice with healing when we advertise our classes without getting in trouble with the powers that be. This irks me to no end. So before I do become a yoga teacher and get in trouble for saying it let me tell you… Yoga IS healing for the mind body and spirit. Without any references to studies or lab tests etc. I myself can tell you, from my very own experience, that yoga is, if you put the effort into it, one of the most effective healing things you can do for your mind body and spirit. I will never tell you that my way is better than yours, because I know that people heal in their own ways. Anything you put a healing light toward can become a form of healing. Healing is truly about the effort you put into it. Yoga, meditation, religion, Tae Kwon Do, whatever brings you inward to find that spirit of healing inside of you can be your spark.

This, to me, reeks of big pharma sticking their nose in to stop from losing profits, and being more worried about selling more of their temporary solutions to the masses who are sold by their fancy advertisements, than actually ever helping someone. I worked in big pharma, I know how they operate, I know that from top to bottom it is all a lie.

It’s sad to me that people are so easily sold on treatments and medications, rather than diet and exercise. I have had so many people tell me “oh I’ve tried everything to help” this or that, but then when I ask them if they have tried yoga, it’s usually “yea I went once”. Well once is not what it takes to help with anything or change bad habits. Yoga is not a miracle cure, but if you put some dedication into it I can bet you will feel better in a month of regular practice than you do now. The best part of Yoga, practiced safely, with a good instructor, is that there are no side effects like the medicines you are sold by big pharma with lists of them so long it will make your head spin. Yes there are medicines we all need, but in many cases, especially, in my opinion, of cases of trauma, depression, anxiety, and many times incurable disease, you are being sold drugs that create no healing whatsoever, only a temporary relief from symptoms with very real risks from disastrous side effects.

Those of you who know me know that if something is wrong I will say it, like I did to big pharma. I see something wrong here. I obviously can’t tell the yoga alliance what to do, but if I could, I would tell them to let people know in every way possible that yoga surely can help you heal, because it does. The stories of healing are endless. If not for its healing light I would still be where I was 4 years ago. Mired in a downward spiral, and depressed that life was not getting any better for me and wondering why. I took the reigns and righted the ship with yoga and meditation. You can too with dedication. For we may not be able to change our fate, yet we can all choose our destiny.

Peace, love, and light. ~ p4th3tic

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How did I get here?

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This question often enters my thoughts these days. I was halfway to North Carolina when I posed this question to myself. It was as if I had only just realized that I had left the only place I have ever called home. I had been planning this move for a long time, but it seemed as if I had just materialized there on some winding mountain road in West Virginia. As I pondered this question, I realized that for much of the last 4 years of my life I have just let myself be guided by my path rather than trying to force it one way or the other. I feel like I am following feelings rather than ideas, being true to myself, and my beliefs rather than allowing myself to do things that I know are wrong just because they pay the bills, or make me feel better. Simply allowing things to happen, rather than really pushing myself in any certain direction, or worrying about details and deadlines.

This is not to say I didn’t do any work to get where I am, or that I just threw some dice on a green felted table and ended up where I am. I am simply doing the things that feel right, and trusting in things much bigger than me to keep the train on the rails, and going down the right track. This surrendering has changed my life.

I find myself here at the beginning of another journey on which I am not really sure which way the road will take me. The only thing I know is that it feels right, and I am being drawn to it rather than away. Three and a half years ago I went to my first yoga class after many months of pondering, and being afraid to walk through the door. I kept telling myself things like; you are not stretchy enough, yoga is for women, you’ll never stick with it. Finally I just let that all go and went… Well here I am, 4 years later.

At the beginning of 2016 I wrote a post called Dear 2016. In it I described how I preferred for my year to unfold. It is uncanny just how closely this year has followed the intentions in that post. I am beyond grateful for all the good, and even the bad that has shaped my life this year. It has given me exactly what I need to be right here, now.

After 4 years of practicing yoga, I still may not be the most flexible person in my class, but as my teacher said “that’s why you go to yoga”. In the end I have gained much more than the ability to touch my toes. As I progress through this class with 7 other inspiring souls, I can only imagine the things I will learn with them from 2 people that also just seemed to materialize in my life at exactly the right moment helping to lead me to that winding West Virginia road.

To be continued…

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