I have something to say before I become a yoga teacher…

img_20160726_003957.jpg

I rarely have anything bad to say about anything anymore. I know that allowing negativity into your life only attracts more negativity. This time, however, I just need to vent. First, some background to the story.

I decided close to a year ago that I was no longer happy with what I did for a living. I spent a lot of time in meditation, and praying for guidance because I knew I couldn’t carry on much longer with the status quo that had become my life. I decided to try to find something that I enjoyed to do with the rest my life. I began creating, and woodworking, and writing. I started to notice that things around me were becoming more clear. I began to have faith that I was not put here to work for big pharma, doing a job that I knew was wrong. I began to ask for signs in my meditations that would direct me, and to keep me on this path that I was giving more faith to everyday. Well, they came, they came in droves. It is true that the more you look, the more you find. As 2015 wore on I decided that if I really wanted things to change that I would have to leave my comfort zone and go see the world. How I was going to do this, I had no idea.

I had just gotten done reading “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne and over and over in the book the author kept saying to create what you want that you should act like you already had it, and to be thankful for it ahead of time. I wanted more than anything to travel. The first thing I did was change my last name on Facebook to Kerouac after one of my favorite authors and world travellers. I decided that everytime I logged in and saw that, that it would remind me of that goal. Next I decided that I wanted to strengthen my yoga practice because yoga and meditation, I believe, unequivocally, were the reasons I was able to heal and overcome addiction and depression, and also grow my awareness allowing all the signs I kept receiving, and why I felt so much more faith in things. I began looking for places that offered yoga teacher training. There were tons of places around my hometown that offered it, and I reached out to many of them for information.

By now 2015 was winding down. I was as unhappy as ever in my job, and knew it was almost time to move on. I took vacation from work, and travelled to North Carolina to visit my cousin. While I was there I took some time to familiarize myself with the area because I felt like this may be a good place to start the rest of my life. I visited some yoga studios and looked at classifieds. I even dropped off a few resumes. When I returned home I decided that by the following winter I was moving to North Carolina hell or high water. Within the next couple of days I had decided that I was going to sign up for yoga teacher training at a school in my hometown. On the day that I finally decided to sign up at a school close to home, (I had the website open ready to make my payment) I saw an ad on Facebook for a place called Vinyasa Arts LKN. LKN, LKN, I thought, received_10210128786245530where have I heard of that before? I looked it up and realized it stood for Lake Norman which is the lake that is a few minutes drive from my cousins house in North Carolina. I began researching Vinyasa Arts. I was impressed to say the least. They were a married couple, Andy and Tamara, with 25 years of combined experience. They had a studio in San Diego, and were relocating to North Carolina to open a studio there. I watched a couple of videos that they had made, and I was sold. Not only did they have the experience I wanted in teachers, but they seemed like genuinely good people. Their classes began in July which gave me some time to situate my life and quit my job. Best of all it came out of nowhere, my favorite place. A sign if you will.

It has been a whirlwind adventure since then to say the least. I really didn’t know what to expect. I am not the most stretchy guy, and my poses all need a ton of work. I spent the few days prior to my first class worrying over things like; would I be the only guy, would I be too old, or not in shape enough. Well the first class came. I realized at that moment how tough these next three months would be. This was real yoga, hardly any resemblance of the yoga I had taken for the three years prior. I sweated more in that first 75 minute class than I did running cross country all through high school. I did however realize that this was exactly what I needed to strengthen my practice. My classmates were all amazing people of all different ages and backgrounds, and we all came together like family almost immediately. We pushed each other to work hard, and be better in our practice. When one of us struggled with something there was no laughing, we simply helped each other through. In times of real life pain we all came together to try and make each other feel better. It was truly a family, or a tribe maybe. Everyone working toward a common goal, and helping each other over the hurdles it took to get there. I was amazed at the abilities and wisdom of our teachers, yet equally amazed at the comradary of my classmates. I know I could never have gotten this far without them. I am blessed that they were all thrown into my life.img_20160924_172439973_hdr

Ok now back to the rant… In one of our first class lectures we were talking about healing and yoga. During this talk our teachers told us that the yoga alliance has said that we cannot equate our yoga practice with healing when we advertise our classes without getting in trouble with the powers that be. This irks me to no end. So before I do become a yoga teacher and get in trouble for saying it let me tell you… Yoga IS healing for the mind body and spirit. Without any references to studies or lab tests etc. I myself can tell you, from my very own experience, that yoga is, if you put the effort into it, one of the most effective healing things you can do for your mind body and spirit. I will never tell you that my way is better than yours, because I know that people heal in their own ways. Anything you put a healing light toward can become a form of healing. Healing is truly about the effort you put into it. Yoga, meditation, religion, Tae Kwon Do, whatever brings you inward to find that spirit of healing inside of you can be your spark.

This, to me, reeks of big pharma sticking their nose in to stop from losing profits, and being more worried about selling more of their temporary solutions to the masses who are sold by their fancy advertisements, than actually ever helping someone. I worked in big pharma, I know how they operate, I know that from top to bottom it is all a lie.

It’s sad to me that people are so easily sold on treatments and medications, rather than diet and exercise. I have had so many people tell me “oh I’ve tried everything to help” this or that, but then when I ask them if they have tried yoga, it’s usually “yea I went once”. Well once is not what it takes to help with anything or change bad habits. Yoga is not a miracle cure, but if you put some dedication into it I can bet you will feel better in a month of regular practice than you do now. The best part of Yoga, practiced safely, with a good instructor, is that there are no side effects like the medicines you are sold by big pharma with lists of them so long it will make your head spin. Yes there are medicines we all need, but in many cases, especially, in my opinion, of cases of trauma, depression, anxiety, and many times incurable disease, you are being sold drugs that create no healing whatsoever, only a temporary relief from symptoms with very real risks from disastrous side effects.

Those of you who know me know that if something is wrong I will say it, like I did to big pharma. I see something wrong here. I obviously can’t tell the yoga alliance what to do, but if I could, I would tell them to let people know in every way possible that yoga surely can help you heal, because it does. The stories of healing are endless. If not for its healing light I would still be where I was 4 years ago. Mired in a downward spiral, and depressed that life was not getting any better for me and wondering why. I took the reigns and righted the ship with yoga and meditation. You can too with dedication. For we may not be able to change our fate, yet we can all choose our destiny.

Peace, love, and light. ~ p4th3tic

img_20160717_103128741.jpg

Advertisements

365


365 days

That could have went a million different ways.

I took a chance that I thought I had missed.

Still so very sad, that it became this.

Hello goodbyes, I reminisce,

I thought there’d be so much you’d miss.

On this day I invited you in,

Quickly my heart began to spin.

I fell further each day.

All my tears withered away.

You pulled me up from the bottomless pit,

Without you, there, I would still sit.

Even after all, that it became,

I miss you each day, for that, I am not ashamed.

I’m not the person that you’re seeing in me.

I promised that, to you, I never would be.

Still lost for why things, are what they are.

All I can do, for you, is wish upon stars.

If, when you walked away, what you said was true.

Then you walked away from me, for something you never even knew.

I hope you are well, and finding some peace,

I still care about you, that will never cease.

When I said those three words, I meant them for true.

My love doesn’t die, that is love, even if it wasn’t in you.

You said that it was, how quickly it flew.

It mustn’t have been, or those words simply have a different meaning to you.

I know it was quick, and I’m sorry for that,

I see clearer than most, with my feelings I’ve sat.

The healer in me always throws open my arms,

When instead it should set off all my alarms.

Yet I never said a lying word to you,

Every word from my mouth was utterly true.

Your reading these words, and fearing of me,

Yet to you, that, I never would be.

I know that trust is hard to believe,

I wish you could see, I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I mean you no harm, I care so much about you,

It hurts to hear the things that you’re thinking I do.

I thank you for what you’ve brought back to me,

Nature, my heart, all the things you said I should see.

More fun with you, they would have been,

It wasn’t to be, I still wish it was then.

I’m sorry that you don’t get to choose how I feel.

You don’t get a say in the ways that I heal.

I lost something that meant a lot to me.

I tried to tell YOU, but you banished me.

I’m sorry, I’m hurt, I’m sad, and all of the like.

The last few years of my life have been quite the treacherous hike.

My heart has stopped beating so many a time,

Betrayed by all three, the only three, I uttered the three, and held so sublime.

You still hang on these words that I’m writing for me,

I wish i knew why, you still want to see.

After all of this I’m still wishing for you,

That winding trail with the breathtaking view.

I was hoping by your side I’d stare at it too,

I wish you’d forgive me for caring about you.

Wasn't this enough proof?

Proof of the things that i said? I pulled this from a million images inside of your head. Maybe it was a clue, for you too, to find the vibrations in you. Now I am gone, disappearing into the abyss. No more will you see me, you I will miss.

Walking my path

Some of us truly are what we say.

Too bad the story in your head will never let you believe that. 😥

 

 

Pics of the Day 03.06.16

DSC02178

I’ve been crawling on my belly
Clearing out what could’ve been.
I’ve been wallowing in my own chaotic
And insecure delusions.

I wanna feel the change consume me,
Feel the outside turning in.
I wanna feel the metamorphosis and
Cleansing I’ve endured within

My shadow
Change is coming.
Now is my time.
Listen to my muscle memory.
Contemplate what I’ve been clinging to.
Forty-six and two ahead of me.

I choose to live and to
Grow, take and give and to
Move, learn and love and to
Cry, kill and die and to
Be paranoid and to
Lie, hate and fear and to
Do what it takes to move through.

I choose to live and to
Lie, kill and give and to
Die, learn and love and to
Do what it takes to step through.

See my shadow changing,
Stretching up and over me.
Soften this old armor.
Hoping I can clear the way
By stepping through my shadow,
Coming out the other side.
Step into the shadow.
Forty six and two are just ahead of me.

~ Maynard James Keenan

IMG_20160306_180235

“A Dragon Rose is a flying flower that breathes fire. A relationship isn’t truly a romance if there isn’t a tiny element of danger involved.”
Jarod Kintz (This Book is Not FOR SALE)

DSC02179

DSC02185

IMG_20160306_180245

DSC02183

“I have learned that to be with those I like is enough”
Walt Whitman

❤ ~ p4th3TiC

 

10 Miles + hiked, 3 State Parks Visited, and many photos taken!

     I decided late last night I needed some nature time today in order to clear my head of all the stress of the past few weeks, and to help me put in perspective all of the decisions I have to make soon. I decided to head off toward Ithaca. I left about 5:30 am, and as always seems to happen lately, it couldn’t have worked out better. I got to watch the sunrise over Cayuga Lake.

DSC01638

blog1

     Icing on the cake for the 2 and a half hour trip? Bad ass art…

blog16

     I was on my way to Robert H. Treman State Park when I saw a sign that said “falls overlook next right”, so I turned right and ended up here with this fantastic view. I decided to explore a little more, and found the (very easy, flat, and kid and pet friendly) gorge trail that led me about a mile to the base of this 215 foot beauty… 

DSC01639

blog2

blog3

DSC01643

DSC01641

blog4

     After sitting in awe for a bit at the beauty of Taughannock Falls I hiked back to the car and continued down Rte. 89S to find the prize at the end of my 2 and a half hour journey in my Dodge Journey. As I got closer I noticed another sign that said “Buttermilk Falls next left”. I tried to get over to make the turn, but I could not. I decided I would stop on the way back if there was time. I continued on, and finally found Robert H. Treman State Park. I went down the “Gorge Trail” there. This was a 2 and a half mile trek up and down pretty steep inclines with many waterfalls along the way, and many stairs. After I finished the gorge trail I went back the way I came, and then took the bridge over the Enfield Creek to the “Upper Rim Trail” that took me up a good 200 steep stairs to a view of Lucifer Falls from above. These trails were quite the workout. The stairs to the upper rim got me so winded that I had to take a break before I finished the last flight of stairs. The views were well worth the exercise. I was supposed to camp here for a weekend in October, but it fell through. This is the only way this trip could have been better, 3 days to take it all in, and a tour guide.

DSC01644

blog5

blog6

IMG_20151212_105401

IMG_20151212_105416

IMG_20151212_110213

blog8

DSC01647

blog9

blog12

blog13

blog14

IMG_20151212_112939

IMG_20151212_111741

DSC01651

DSC01652

IMG_20151212_112049

IMG_20151212_112056

     Last stop on my tour. I had nothing left in my still shaking legs for a trail. I was very relieved to see this sight a few feet from the entrance. A perfect end to a perfect day. ❤

blog15

1212151131