This question often enters my thoughts these days. I was halfway to North Carolina when I posed this question to myself. It was as if I had only just realized that I had left the only place I have ever called home. I had been planning this move for a long time, but it seemed as if I had just materialized there on some winding mountain road in West Virginia. As I pondered this question, I realized that for much of the last 4 years of my life I have just let myself be guided by my path rather than trying to force it one way or the other. I feel like I am following feelings rather than ideas, being true to myself, and my beliefs rather than allowing myself to do things that I know are wrong just because they pay the bills, or make me feel better. Simply allowing things to happen, rather than really pushing myself in any certain direction, or worrying about details and deadlines.
This is not to say I didn’t do any work to get where I am, or that I just threw some dice on a green felted table and ended up where I am. I am simply doing the things that feel right, and trusting in things much bigger than me to keep the train on the rails, and going down the right track. This surrendering has changed my life.
I find myself here at the beginning of another journey on which I am not really sure which way the road will take me. The only thing I know is that it feels right, and I am being drawn to it rather than away. Three and a half years ago I went to my first yoga class after many months of pondering, and being afraid to walk through the door. I kept telling myself things like; you are not stretchy enough, yoga is for women, you’ll never stick with it. Finally I just let that all go and went… Well here I am, 4 years later.
At the beginning of 2016 I wrote a post called Dear 2016. In it I described how I preferred for my year to unfold. It is uncanny just how closely this year has followed the intentions in that post. I am beyond grateful for all the good, and even the bad that has shaped my life this year. It has given me exactly what I need to be right here, now.
After 4 years of practicing yoga, I still may not be the most flexible person in my class, but as my teacher said “that’s why you go to yoga”. In the end I have gained much more than the ability to touch my toes. As I progress through this class with 7 other inspiring souls, I can only imagine the things I will learn with them from 2 people that also just seemed to materialize in my life at exactly the right moment helping to lead me to that winding West Virginia road.
To be continued…