I don’t think I’ve ever read anything better…
For the last three days I have been deep in thought. I disconnected from everything and everyone, well except my best dog buddy, and just took some time to think. I didn’t plan the future or even think further ahead than the moment I was in. I just took some time to feel everything in my life. I have been very drained from the constant struggle between what I truly believe, and the thing that I have done for a living for the last, almost 4 years. As I have awakened to truths, and see how terribly misguided and lied to we all are through advertising, mainstream media, government, and even our own doctors, it has become more and more clear to me that I can no longer tolerate the sadness, and guilt I feel everyday when I walk through those doors, under the guise that I am “saving lives”. The pharmaceutical industry cares nothing for you or your loved ones, they care only for the billions of dollars that they can make off of you. They need you sick, the doctors need you sick, every single person that is employed there, needs you sick. They want customers, it makes very little business sense for them to actually help you. This is a fact that I have witnessed everyday for almost 4 years. You can argue with me if you’d like, but I have no argument to give you back, it is no longer worth my breath. I’ve seen and participated in the lies daily, I’ve seen “the waving of the magic wand” over and over.
I know in my heart the way to health, and it has nothing to do with pills or medicine. Health comes from inside you. The vessel your spirit lives in is piloted by a mind with almost limitless power. We are creators, everything we have, we create, good or bad. That which you give power to, has power over you. Our intuition, that little voice inside our head that chatters all day, knows what’s best for us, yet we are trained almost from birth to ignore it. We follow the leader and keep up with the Jones’. We watch TV and stare at our phones more than we pay attention to the 3 lb god that lives inside of our vessel.
I am utterly convinced that I am on a path in a direction that I have very little control over. Every step I take brings me new revelations about life, love, loss, and learning. I see little signs everywhere. Just a tiny example, I have read three books this year, on three completely different topics, suggested by three different people. Yet each one has mentioned the book that I had just previously finished. I am being guided by something much larger. I used to think asking for signs was tempting fate. I ask for signs nearly daily now, and almost unfailingly they come to me.
The one lesson that has shined through all the others to me throughout these last 4 years of my life, loves, and work is truth. Honesty is the most important part of our existence and the ground level of every type of relationship we ever have. Truth is not always easy, it is not always what we want to hear, sometimes it beats the living crap out of us, and sometimes it angers others, but in the end it is the most important part of our existence. I would rather be hurt by the truth, than ever lied to. And I would rather be honest than anything else. In my line of work that is, I have found, impossible.
I’ve spent my whole life not even being true to myself. Poisoning my body and ignoring my mind. I finally realized that just about the same time I began working at this job. I believe that was also a part of a path toward clarity for me. If I couldn’t be true to myself, how could I ever be true to others? How many of you reading this are being true to yourself? I mean really deep down inside. Are you searching for the gift you are supposed to share with the world, or are you, like I have mostly always been, just doing what you were taught was right? Are you trying to adult your way to the next moment, or living life for a paycheck because you are taught you have to? Are you staying with a partner for the simple fact that it is easier to suck it up and just deal with it, rather than put the work in and be true to your own spirit, your own voice inside your head? Are you taking medications daily or giving them to your children because, some guy in a white coat, paid by a billion dollar corporation, tells you that it will help. You are likely taking years off of your life, and time away from your loved ones every time you swallow a pill.
Take the time for them and for yourself and work at your health, and your life, it will bring much larger rewards. The cells in your body regenerate an almost completely new you every few months. This is where the now countless stories of people given a few days to live with terminal disease who are now cured, come from. The stories are all nearly the same. These people simply decided they were going to heal. In your life, find the things that little voice is telling you, that your conscience is telling you are wrong and turn them around. Stop ignoring what you know is right because of what someone else tells you. Look within for the answers because every single one of them is there for you. The medicines you take will never help you find them, and in all likelihood, as it undoubtedly says on the packaging, are doing more harm than good. There are stories of people addicted to Xanax that have been trying unsuccessfully for years to wean off of it. While they may bring temporary relief for your symptoms, provided they are what they profess to be, they will never cure you of anything.
I know I am here in some respect to heal people. I am still searching for the how. The best way I know to help someone heal right now is through sharing what I have learned and read about while on this path. The stories are endless, whether it be debilitating trauma, cancer, AIDS, mental disorders, addiction, etc. Mine is one of them. The way to true healing comes from within.
This is the book I am reading now. If you have any kind of trauma, that you have suffered in your life this book will give you a very real healing path, and also better help you understand the effects that trauma has in your life, and the ways our body deals with it. It will help you better recognize the signs our body gives us, what they mean, and how to better deal with triggers. This man has spent his lifetime working with trauma patients.
One year ago today
hearts did break
the dark filled me up
the moon it went away
nothing good could be found
life had no purpose
the universe was lying
the ship had run aground
all the patience that I had built
all the signs I knew I saw
everything had broken
and then I saw my guilt
I opened my eyes to the lesson
I took inventory of what I'd gained
the reason for the butterfly
I sat with all the pain
I took what I could muster
I picked myself back up
my heart somehow still beating
with effervescent luster
I see that I'm still becoming
and that you gave to me
the gift of your reflection
for my soul to finally be
the gift that you gave to me
is worth everything I've lost
the fear guilt and sadness
I decided last weekend after working way too many weekends in a row that I was going to take this one off. I had originally planned a trip to North Carolina for this weekend, but had to postpone that for a bit. I decided I needed a nature reset so I planned a trip out to Dansville to visit Sugar Creek and Stony Brook for a mid winter hike (that may or may not have been trespassing). I wanted to take the dog this time because he has been such a good boy these past few weeks as I worked like a ‘dog’. 😉 Sadly, a couple of days ago, he hurt his knee yet again slipping on some ice. I had researched these hikes a bit and one was classified ‘strenuous’. Probably a bad idea for a dog with a gimpy leg. I thought about leaving him home to rest it, but I really wanted some company and had promised him. (yes he listens to and understands every word I say) I decided we would go back to Taughannock Falls that I visited earlier this fall. The hike was very flat, and not very long. The ride was very pretty and long, so we could spend some time together driving and stopping to pee lol.
I went out to the truck about 5 am to a light snow falling, but pretty mild temps for late January in Buffalo, and emptied it of the haul of driftwood that I had gotten the day before, save for one piece I left for tank to chew into sawdust on our ride. I put Tank’s camo sweater on, laid out his blanket in the truck, made sure I had my camera, fresh batteries, and some drinks for us. I opened the gate and in a red brindle flash old gimpy jumped in that truck like a puppy with brand new legs. I closed the hatch and got in and Tank was paying homage to his brother Marley by sniffing his old collar that now rides with us on our rear view mirror wherever we go. Off we went on our 2 and a half hour journey in our Journey. Here is the rest in pictures. He loved it!
It definitely was a different landscape than when I was there a couple of months prior. Not a fisherman in sight this time.
Our nice flat and easy path.
A truly beautiful waterfall. Definitely my favorite one that I have visited recently, and well worth seeing it in it’s winter coat! The energy in this spot is amazing.
Tank needs a selfie stick? 😉
Quick take the pic so I can check it out!
…The urge. 🙂 ❤
Okay one good pic then let’s check it out okay?
You’re right Tank, how lucky we are…
…To have each other. ❤
A quick stop at Buttermilk Falls before heading home…
And of course the bad ass art stop for the day. This is a tree carved and painted. Pretty spectacular!
Peace, love, and light ❤ ~p4th3tic
This was the perfect read for my disconnecting/reconnecting weekend. Overwhelm is exactly what I have been feeling lately. It blows me away that simple words can put things back in perfect perspective so simply. I hope it helps you too. Creating time today, alone nature time tomorrow. A happy productive weekend to you all. Love and light in abundance! ❤ p4th3tic
The requests for guidance with managing waves of emotions and sometimes inexplicable overwhelm have been rising in recent times. Energetically sensitive people feel affected by the collective energies and with all the calamities and changes in the collective and at individual levels, there is often turbulence in the air. I have been sharing these tips in private and decided to share them here for the benefit of those who are looking for this material.
I understand that some of this may make no sense to a large amount of the population and may also provoke my Advaita – inclined friends to remind me of the value of ‘not doing’ and being. I hold argument with neither and will not be responding to any comments along this line. I believe the most pragmatic thing possible is to be honest about where you are located on your spiritual journey. So if you need…
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