Letting go…

A few weeks ago, after a visit with my therapist, with which we ended with a meditation session with the intention being that “my path be made clear to me”. I walked out of the office, got in the car, checked my phone for messages, as per usual forgot to schedule a reminder for the next appointment, and went on my way with a renewed vigor for the day. As I merged onto the 219 north, a blissfully serene and scenic highway with farms, trees, rolling hills, and nature to behold, I looked up at the sky and I saw it. Gloriously, almost effortlessly gliding on the breeze was a bald eagle. They are around these parts of Western New York, but rare enough that in my 42 years on the planet this was the first one I had ever seen. It was low enough, maybe an altitude of 50 feet, and big enough to make out it’s white head and tail feathers. It was flying north with me as if it was guiding me down the road. I was in no hurry to get anywhere on this day so as I watched it turn east just before the Armor Duells exit, I got off hoping to follow it some more. I followed it east for a bit, then it turned back to the north, and so did I. As I approached a busy intersection with a long traffic light, it made a few circles above me as if to say goodbye, and disappeared back the way it came. I was in awe at this beautiful creature, I probably followed it nearly 4 miles until I hit that red light. I was almost in tears at the beauty and ease with which this giant beauty traversed across the sky.

Still wiping my eyes i looked to my left, there sat the woman that had stolen my heart twice in my life, once very recently. There she was staring at her I-phone like she always did, as beautiful as ever, completely unaware of the broken heart sitting next to her. I immediately began questioning that bird. Why did you bring me here?! Here of all places!? I was just starting to really let go of all of the heartache and pain that was 3 years of my life. This is not my path! She never noticed me. The left turn signal switched to green, and she drove away, and disappeared into the bevy of traffic as I sat there watching… again.

I let out a huge sigh, but I didn’t cry. When our relationship ended it was a very bitter pill to swallow. I probably lost 3 months of my life in a deep depression. Completely unaware of my surroundings at times. I spent $10,000 on a car during this period, and when it came time to have the oil changed I could not remember how to get to the dealership.

As I watched her drive away, the answer to the question that I asked that beautiful creature came to me. It had brought me there to demonstrate to me that our paths had gone a different way. Sometimes no matter how much you connect with, or love a soul on this planet there comes a time when paths may lead the opposite way. For the first time that day, I felt peace in my heart, and maybe the bloom of a flower or two. I felt like letting go was okay. She drove away alone one way, I the other, and our lives went on.


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